A few confessions apropos of much of the discussion about how to promote poetry:

1. I promote poetry. I say, “Y’all need to read poems, they are great.” I say, “Y’all need to read Terrance Hayes, he is really a smart poet.” I say, “Girls are still into guys who can find a poem and give it to them.” I say, “Do you want me to write a poem about you?” They always say, “Yes, yes, yes!”.

2. I like reading novels. They are full of stories. They transport me into a narrative world. I like Seinfeld, too, and I find that show funny mostly because it has stories. I like television. It makes me think. But mostly, it is the mythic story-box. Americans love stories. Even bad predictable stories. If you asked me whether I liked The Simpsons, I would say no, not really. But sometimes I am idling in front of the television and once I have made it through eight minutes of the show I want to see the rest. I like Girlfriends. Truth is I tell people who send me novel manuscripts to read, “I will probably get into your story even if it is bad. I am a hopeless gossip, and I like to know what happens even if what happens is really daft.” Novels and books of poetry are different from each other.

...and there is more....

3. Around here in South Carolina, I find it hard to find anyone who has not written a poem. In fact, I find it hard to find someone who does not have a poem he or she likes. At least one poem. I find a lot of kids hate poetry at school. But many of them write poems at school. I find lots of kids who like poetry at school. I just read an anthology of poems by a bunch of footballers. The poems were about football. Their biggest concern was that they did not know what to write about. So they wrote about football.

4. Some poetry bores me to distraction. I mean really kills me.

5. I look smart when I mention that I have read some of that poetry that bores me to distraction. And so I end up promoting some poetry that bores me to distraction, which really makes me feel like a bit of a whore or a pimp--I can't tell the difference here.

6. Most of the time, I am not so much promoting poetry, but promoting a reading because it is really embarrassing when a writer comes in and there is no one there to listen. So I get people to come. Usually, I use food. Grits has worked well here in South Carolina. Which sounds like an awful stereotype, but at least I did not say chicken and watermelons (which we serve as well, by the way). People bring their own fixins and we supply the grits, and they come. Sometimes they stay for the poetry.

7. I like fried chicken. I will miss it.

7b. I love watermelons. But I hate the seedless watermelons. They taste funny and it feels like a cheat or something. Nothing to spit out and nothing crunchy to chew on by mistake. No work. I like warm watermelon.

8. Did you know that I have not found a single school around these parts that assigns a book of poems—not an anthology, but a single-authored book of poem--to students for reading? Which is kind of crazy because there are so many books of poetry out there. In fact most poets I know write poems to be put in books not in anthologies. But schools rarely read books of poems. Maybe I should promote that deep insight.

9. There is a bunch of fiction writers who are writing “novels in verse” these days. They are smart. They are avoiding the adult market in verse because they know the adult poets are snotty and will complain. They are writing these “novels in verse” for teenagers. Many of them are really good. Not very good verse. In fact, very few are good verse. But they are great stories, and I have read so many of them. But then, I am a sucker for a story, so I am not even sure what I am thinking about them. Maybe some “adult” poets should try and break into that market. Mostly, you have to have a good story, though. It is easier to promote "novels in verse" because it has the word "novels" in the name.

10. “Promote” may not be the right word. It sounds so philistine. But when I think about it, I think that promoting poetry is saying, “This is great stuff.” And if that is what promoting is, then it has less to do with capitalism than it has to do with saying, “Hey, this is great stuff.”

11. I think people should pay me to read my poetry.

11b. People do pay me to read my poems.

12. I think I should be able to read my poetry for free.

12b. Sometimes I read my poems for free.

13. I know people who cry when I read my poetry. Somebody should pay me for doing that.

14. I cry when I watch movies. I pay nine dollars and I sit in the movie theater and when something moving happens or something way cool (that is what some kids say today) happens, I cry. That is fair. The movie I paid for made me cry. But I have to pay again to see the movie again to cry again. If I buy a book, I can cry anytime I want. Which is why, at first, guys get married. (This is a very, very deep observation, so linger around it for a while).

15. I always cry when the two sisters are playing that hand game in Color Purple.

16. I really believe that in everyone is a hunger for poetry. I am insane that way. So what I am doing is trying to get them to find that hunger and to fill it.

17. Poetry is a business for me. So is teaching at university. They are both my life, though. Being married is not a business, nor is being a father. They are both my life. Turns out, though, that they can be good business. But to admit that would be obscene.

18. Sometimes I don’t openly admit things because they seem obscene.

19. Pastors get paid.

20. I believe pastors should get paid.

21. Pastors are prophets,... often.

22. Prophets are poets.

23. God doesn’t mind.

24. Really, he doesn’t.

25. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I CAN GET 2.3 MILLION DOLLARS TO BUILD A POET’S COTTAGE HERE IN SOUTH CAROLINA? I AM NOT KIDDING. THE PROGRAMS ARE ALREADY IN PLACE WE JUST NEED THE SPACE. HIT ME WITH IDEAS ON HOW TO REALY PROMOTE POETRY.