Major Jackson
What's In & What's Out -2008 (Part I)

I love year-ending "What's In & What's Out" lists for the upcoming year. They are authoritative, self-generating, biased, and goofy. I thought I'd get a head-start on the pundits. The list kept going, so I'll post over a few days. I hope you enjoy. With consultation from some friends, here is the start of a provocative list, sure to test the province of good taste, augury, and judgment.
If this is not entertaining, check out the Luther Vandross Estate Auction.
Major Jackson’s
What’s In and What’s Out
For 2008
OUT
Dog sweaters
Tell Me You Love Me
American Gangsta
Slouchy Boots
Down-sizing
Mary J. Blige
Terrence Howard
Amy Winehouse
Chem-lab cuisine
Hi-Wattage
Hateration
The Grinch
Bubble Tea Dessert
Trent Lott
Pentagon
Called to Duty
Robert De Niro
Bob Hairstyle
Lounge bars
EPC at SUNY-Buffalo
Omnivores
Google
Wicca
Knicks
Disney
Balvenie
Bunny Grahams
Metrosexuals
Messy
Ziggy Stardust
Manhattan
Fake intimacy
Celebrity misdemeanors/felonies
Baby doll dresses
Hot tubs
Frank Gehry
New Formalists
Staking Claims
Lawrence Summers
Robots
Procedural Art
Cate Blanchett
Infidelity
Thongs
Ron Silliman’s Blog
Cynicism
Vodka Gimlets
Cesaria Evora
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Car-racing
The Gypsy Kings
Dating Tips
Rosie Jetson
Malls
Ottava Rima
Jim Behrle cartoons
Speed-dating
Ideology
Light up reindeer
Diddy
Skin Crème
Reese Witherspoon
Cockiness
Modest Mouse
PDAs
Rolex
Bachelor Party
Ordinary Shares
Cyber-bullying
Regret
Organ Theft
Martin Luther
Billy Graham
Brooklyn
Villanelles
Having your fingers on the pulse of a dead man
Snowshoeing
Bi-polar
George W. Bush
Philosophy for Dummies
SMS M300 cellphone watch
Mindlessness
Texting
“Love after Love”
Cruelty
Fundamentalism
Nooses
Camden, NJ
Subjectivity
Hank Aaron
Diversity
Gertrude Stein
Ice skating
Miami
Forgetfulness
Connecting
mega-churches
Alaska
Kobe Bryant
“Hedwig & The Angry Inch”
Selected Poems
Reginald Shepherd’s Blog
Miami Dolphins
Genocide
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IN
Wigs for Dogs
The Wire
The Great Debaters
Flat boots
Upgrade You
Alicia Keys
Terrance Hayes
Corinne Bailey Rae
Fresh pasta, fruit, fish & vegetables
Eco-bulbs
Hateration
Annie Finch
Honey-dew Dessert
Barack Obama
Peace Centers
Bringing troops home
Robert Hass
Pob Hairstyle
Neighborhood bars
PennSound at Univ. of Pennsylvania
Smart Diners
Wikimedia
Nikons
Knicks
Pixar
Laphroaig
Jorie Graham
Rusticsexuals
Decorous
Slavoj Zizek
Brooklyn
Closeness
Long-term celebrity causes/charities
Diane von Furstenberg wrap-around dresses
Space Pools
Frank Bidart
New Athenians
Innuendo
Drew Gilpin Faust
Humans
Communal Art
Cate Marvin
Monogamy
Boy briefs
Reginald Shepherd’s Blog
Sentimentality
Chocolate Martinis
Virginia Rodrigues
Mahmoud Darwish
Robot-racing
Pink Martini
Confidantes
Twendy-One
Boutiques
Rime royal
Linh Dinh mini-movies
match.com
Freedom
Inflatable Santa
Kanye
Skin Caviar
Spencer Reese
Charm
The National
Leather-bound Calendar/Planner
Audemars Piguet
Wedding Day
Don Share
Deep, Molten Kisses
Embracing Imperfections
Organ Watch
Martin Buber
T.D. Jakes
Philadelphia
Ghazals
Mind-spooning
Snowrunning
Borderline personality disorder
Democratic Presidential candidates
The Simpsons and Philosophy
Hyundai W-100 Watch Phone
Mindfulness
Drop-bys
“you who never arrived”
Kindness
Spirituality
Love
Duluth, MN
Identity
Barry Bonds
Inclusion
Gjertrud Schnackenberg
Ice kiting
Fire Island
Remembrance
Being totally unrelatable
personal shrines
Greenland
Lebron James
“Shortbus”
Collected Poems
Tayari Jones’s Blog
New England Patriots
Tolerance
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Major, how can Laphroaig be in but WInehouse be out? Surely Keys is the Balvenie here.
Good list. Though Major, as a Vermont resident surely you have witnessed junk-food-deprived youngsters SWARM over Bunny Grahams. Face it, both Jorie and those tasty "cookies" are in.
I refuse to believe that either Gertrude Stein as a whole or Bubble Tea Desserts in general will ever go out of style.
On the other hand, I love reading lists like this and hate making them myself, so maybe I should just quiet down and enjoy the binary sort.
major--
slouchy boots are out?!? shit, and i havent even gotten a pair!
if manhattan and brookyln are out, does this mean queens and bronx get in?
if you mean shortbus the movie, then ok, thats in. but hedwig has to be out? le sigh.
and wrap around dresses-yes yes yes!
but what the hell is a rusticsexual?
i'm waiting anxiously for your prediction on designer t's....
Robert Di Nero? I can see it now - the ultimate sociopath - the man snarling at his audience while Rome burns.
You poets have too much time on your hands, too many words on your minds.
Robert De Niro out? Never!
Astoria in Queens is over with. Brooklyn, particularly Williamsburg, has been over with for awhile. Reporting from the Bronx... real estate people have begun to call the boogie down such things as SoBro since Harlem has been, and continues to be, largely erased. I live in Woodlawn, categorically uncool, which might be considered NoBro or WoBro or SoYo being that we are just south of Yonkers.
As for rusticsexuals ... I imagine might be a deeper extension of John Deere tomfoolery. Adirondack or Buffalo plaid being the new black or safety orange or whatever is faux current.
I imagine Absinthe will be a topic of some discussion in the coming years:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/05/dining/05absi.html?ex=1197522000&en=da17104e230116ac&ei=5070&emc=eta1
It ripped Europe to it knees, why should they get to have all the historical fun!
Ange,
Winehouse is debatable. Laphroaig is not.
Keys is debatable, as is most of the list. Laphroaig is not. (smiles)
I adore that troubled angst-filled petulant souful Brit., but find her surface a little fabricated, familiar and mildly disquieting. No doubt, the girl can sing. For real.
Pipaluk,
I've also seen the EROSION of their teeth, up here in the North Country, and THE ERRANCY of their vegetarian parents. You're right! Those Bunny Grahams are so IN.
or said in another way Snow: Bunny:: Graham: Jorie.
Ange,
You're vindicated; NYTIMES headline reads:
Amy Winehouse Draws 6 Grammy Nominations
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/07/arts/music/06cnd-grammy.html?hp
Is Zizek really just "in" now? Hasn't he been kind of timeless? I mean at least since his time:)
I agree with Fagan:
OUT: Dumbo and Williamsburg, Brooklyn
IN: Mott Haven, South Boogie (SoBro? Not while I draw breath.)
And my slight prediction...
OUT: Brooklyn Heights
IN: Newark! (Dig that PATH train, y'all.)
Mr. Jackson, I was with you at the Great Debaters, but I'm officially mad at you for rhyming Finch and Grinch.
But I needed the laugh. To the end of the semester, onward!
Hi Major,
Thanks for this. It was fun! On my blog I added-- IN: DIY & small presses; The Bronx. OUT: Irish Poetry (though I'm sure it'll come back 'round again), and Fifty Cent.
S.
wigs for dogs.
hmmm.
*******************************************************
Written on the Wind
If ghazals are in, and Annie Finch is in, and Gjertrud Schnackenberg is in, can New Formalism be far behind? Watch out, New Athenians!
Alicia,
I love my contradictions. Viva La Neo-Athenians!
Seth,
Fifty-Cent?
Irish Poetry: Long live Michael Longley
Rich "South Boogie" Villar,
Newark is definitely rolling through, has been for awhile now, if we consider their importance to American Poetry. I hear ya!
Aaron,
You got it! Every rusticsexual should have some Washington State plaid in his closet and eau de cologne that smells like cow manure.
Can we not think of a better way to amuse ourselves than laughing at the joke of treating "high culture" as low? Up next, Morton Feldman and Brittany Spears! I mean, perhaps a hundred years ago this kind of thing would be considered condescending, and the fact that it no longer seems that way is a testament to how we've allowed our notion of the artist to be completely levelled.
Instead of thinking of the artist as somehow beyond the "culture" of Blackberries and high-end "early adopters" -- we see her as just another functionary. While Spears is CocaCola, Jorie Graham is seen as that shapely Pomegranite juice marketed towards 20-something PR women.
The joke here is not that we think poets and poetry should be better than this, but that we ever thought that. Instead of laughing at consumer culture, we are laughing at, mocking poets for being so marginal to it.
It is kind of sad -- poetry with "tired/wired" lists -- it sort of feels like a beacon of our failure.
Au contraire, Major! Robots will always be in! See: Astro-Boy live-action re-make, Robo-Boy poems by Matthea Harvey, and new Futurama episodes with Bender, the loveable robot! Also: solar-powered robots, helper robots, Toyota robots, robot vacuum cleaners.
One could say that these plaids will lay to rest the Burberry plaid.
Lest we forget Spaceball One--able to break the speed of light and go into plaid, a completely different dimension of light travel.
Poets as beacons of failure is completely in right now!
Major,
Sorry, typo, I meant "50 Cent"--the rapper. Who, last we heard from him, was bragging about how his tunes were more amenable to being sold as ring-tones in Europe than other rappers!
Now *that's* street cred!
:-)
S.
In Out
Cleveland Manhattan
Detroit Brooklyn
Pittsburg Queens
Austin Bronx
Bayonne, NJ Staten Island
texts poetry
books blogs
UBU WEB Poetry Foundation
Rachel Blau DuPlessis Jorie Graham
post-quietude flarf
rack of lamb tapas
jamón serrano prosciutto
Gertrude Stein's hat Ezra Pound’s beard
flat-coated retrievers American Staffordshire Terriers
effing press Ugly Duckling Presse
Eric Dolphy Arcade Fire
Matthew Ship Bad Plus
Canada France
anarchism Socialism
blueberry smoothies vitamin water
commas periods
bookshelves celebrities
Fanny Howe Gjertrud Schnackenberg
Kevin Davies Robert Hass
touch-and-feel board books iPods
Atelos Norton
Lisa Robertson Anne Carson
Buck Owens Merle Haggard
avant-agrarian New York School
napping poetry readings
free jazz musicals
repetition rhyme
neo-fragmentation New Sentence
Simon,
I get your point, but, um . . . this is so tongue-in-cheek. And if Showtime's L-word show can appropriate Anne Carson's Eros the Bittersweet to firm up its sophistication factor, as do many a Hollywood screenwriter over the course of cinematic history, then a little reversal of intentions seems okay. Don't you think? It's about tickling the whole funny bone, especially if we have one. Why not?
http://www.slate.com/id/2095317/
Hey Major,
You should come hear Andrea Baker and I read to Robin's tonight. We're both kind-of in.
I thought Jorie Graham was out? Where is Duluth, NM? I vote for Las Cruces!
Hey Major --
I'm quite aware -- I say this in the opening line of my comment -- that you're presenting this as humor.
What really struck me about the piece is how it shows our notion of the poet has changed -- how she's been absorbed into a unit of commercial culture. As I said, back fifty or a hundred years ago, the joke would have been a condescending one -- now it seems nastier and self-directed.
Simon
PS: I totally love the L-word. It's interesting how Anne Carson was used there -- in a very "old school" fashion, with Marina playing a kind of tormentor-muse to Jenny, the poet is given a kind of elite and etherial status. The way it's played is that the poet is an interruption and not, as in a tired/wired list, a continuation of consumption by other means.
I'm pretty sure the only way the Pats are in anything is with an Asterisk.
Major--
Out: Eugene, Oregon; In: the Old Sincerity
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