Unholy Sonnet 11

Half asleep in prayer I said the right thing

And felt a sudden pleasure come into

The room or my own body. In the dark,

Charged with a change of atmosphere, at first

I couldn’t tell my body from the room.

And I was wide awake, full of this feeling,

Alert as though I’d heard a doorknob twist,

A drawer pulled, and instead of terror knew

The intrusion of an overwhelming joy.

I had said thanks and this was the response.

But how I said it or what I said it for

I still cannot recall and I have tried

All sorts of ways all hours of the night.

Once was enough to be dissatisfied.

Copyright Credit: Mark Jarman, “Unholy Sonnet 11” from Questions for Ecclesiastes. Copyright © 1997 by Mark Jarman. Reprinted with the permission of the author and Story Line Press, www.storylinepress.com.

Source: Questions for Ecclesiastes (Story Line Press, 1997)