Heather Christle's "awful interview"

Heather Christle! We told you about her telephoning, and so did the Guardian. She even spoke with the BBC! Well that's all over now, baby—did you call and hear a poem? If you can't get enough, no worries: we happened upon this "awful interview" with Heather at Vouched (which calls to mind a certain dialogue), so the fun may continue:

To help promote your poetry collection, The Trees The Trees, you released your phone number on the interwebs so that people could call you hear you read them a poem. So here’s my question: did you ever consider reading them with a foreign accent or an impersonation of some sort? Like, if I called you right now could you read me one as Sam Elliot?

I’m not a very good cowboy. Once at a party in Portland where I only knew a couple people, I pretended to be Russian. It pretty much worked. I don’t think I will try it again.

What inspired you to pretend to be Russian? Have you ever been to Russia? I like the fuzzy hats they wear, you know- Ushankas.

I was inspired by a dress I was wearing, a then-recent purchase from an antique shop. I’ve not been to Russia, though I would love to go. Never enough money. I too love those hats. I’m looking forward to moving back to Massachusetts, where I will once again have the opportunity to wear notable winter hats. My sister has been the custodian of a really excellent one during my tenure in the south. It is the kind of hat that makes people talk to its wearer. We’ve been collecting conversations and comments it has caused:

Comments & Questions

* You look like a dandelion! From the back! A dandelion!
* You look like an animal walking away from here.
* What is it made out of?
* That must keep you warm.
* You must be sweating when it is 10 degrees outside.
* That is a great hat by the way.
* That is a great hat.
* That is a great hat by the way.
* I thought you were a snow bear.
* You look like a macaroon.
* It’s not that cold out.
* I used to have a hat like that.
* We all used to wear hats like that.

Actions

* (a woman seated in a crowed and posh restaurant grabs a pom pom and paws at it like a balloon in the air)

Conversations

* A: Nice hat.
* B: Thanks.
* A: Can I borrow it tomorrow night?
* B: No.
* A: If I give you a free coffee will you give me that hat?
* B: No.
* A: Can I touch your hat?
* B: Ok.
* A: I have been wanting to do this all night.