You didn't hear it from me...

...but there's a little wisp of a rumor that somewhere, someday, you may be able to get up close and personal with the bloggers of Harriet. Not only will you be able to gaze upon our actual faces, but there may even be a chance to revel and weep as jewels of poetic wisdom drip from our lips!
OK, who am I kidding? There's only one of us the public's clamoring for, and I'm going to make sure you good people get the access you deserve. So before this rumored appearance, which is rumored to be within a month or so, I am selling armbands that may get you a privileged place in line to buy a ticket to get close enough to share oxygen with Kwame Dawes.

You heard right.
With your valid charge card number, not only can I offer actual access, I can guarantee that our most prolific blogger will write you a paragraph--or a line of his sumptuous poetry--while you wait!
This is a one-time offer, providing the rumored appearance actually becomes a reality, which I assure you it will. This is your all-access pass to the Renaissance man, a chance to be touched by genius, an unparalleled opportunity to someday be able to utter the deception "Kwame Dawes is a friend of mine."
The line starts forming to the right, and as soon as the credit card emblazoning thingie warms up, we can get this party going. If you're gonna be a poet, ya gotta know a poet.
I can introduce you to the best.