With Sincerest Regrets

Like a monstrous snail, a toilet slides into a living room on a track of wet, demanding to be loved.
         It is impossible, and we tender our sincerest regrets. In the book of the heart there is no mention made of plumbing.
         And though we have spent our intimacy many times with you, you belong to an unfortunate reference, which we would rather not embrace ...
         The toilet slides away ...