Operating Dictates for a Particle Accelerator
pulse light
starts there starts getting smaller All that you can’t remember,
Claire says. , With two glass eyes I’m wobbling down
a walkway inflecting aloha no thumbtacks,
attached no pins, To feel. Good by.
among crimson and silver turnstiles, all the folks In orange,
Silvery hats and thermal The madmen mad getting
madder daisies all done Again me strolling, me fuming,
slipping, the stream frozen. the matter of face. the quasars
huffing on. In December no summery mask, No, just
the shimmering scene, the firmament. a blackbird indicating, nods
Maybe a change dust of a brick maybe
I remember, I recall. a cyclotron. An ingenuous ramrod
The flay of her hair fall sinking Rowboat
turning to winter, rowboat, rowboat Chatter of the breakage
iii. verb forms of a neutron bomb
starts sloe gin over time Fermenting in the firmament
red shifting with Claire waking with Claire, betweening
and vaguing Claire the embassies exchanging airs. lily white,
glittery photons , spark at the bottom working
iamb iamb iamb iamb iamb
Claire don’t care reminiscing Tuscaloosa
in. A corner of the soiree. , standing so bluntly
you resemble no one, Precisely, as if receding over a hill,
you resembles everyone. corralling , the bulky idea of the hill into.
an encampment, a tiny cranium.
And it’s as if, Spying you through
a whiskey on rocks. a mass hysteria
I struttle along, Making commonplace. Ubnutterances,
and guts your house is blue with two glass eyes
iii. quantum entanglement
starts with a single shot. fired not the year of my fathers.
slow, death starts. year my mother goes terminal,
The vacuous scene chattering, Like an elephant
collapsing the animals fuming, weird winged bugs
The serious business of. squishing them, they simply regroup.
And reappear. , Claire. I’m stumbling down the thoroughfare.
in a dark, Pinching what few glittering photons, I’m trolling.
murky and building up. start at the bottom, working a way
Upwards Evening, like a tumbler. folding. itself over
Feeling contented all around. squinting, started clawing
with two glass eyes feeling for thumbtacks. Among
the broad vagaries. among the wild visions, Claire.
. I say I know you better, , than. You could imagine,
or some other, but you sock me. Hard. In the gut instead.
i. aimed by magnets
starts redundant Futile with a screwdriver, among the wrecks.
, I am having a ball comma Describe the house comma paint
the doorjamb end-stop these months spent a-chatter.
the sidewalk spinal column of a mule that carries me.
Through the broad making-world. one universe over,
We are inseparable. And own many cats the city. Large.
like viewing an egg, From the egg’s interior.
I go about the serious business strolling, The firmament
Claire. your pocket watch, A frayed yellow. T-shirt.
on the narrative fringe. of the narrative, the weightless photons
say Holding hands One universe over. You do not forgive
me. , all that I can’t but Maybe a small change
maybe something less than the sky,
maybe something. More than the sky could conjure.
ii. if this were a sonnet, I
start with all that you can’t remember. The gutters
Overloaded. the funky trinkets, Weird winged bugs
on the sill. In the air, When I go about the business
, strolling home Claire. riding the slipstream
sloe gin. All drink and whiskey. the old ferry, a rowboat
, in my gut. smooth as a mirror Every mad
Artifact everyone I’ve ever met, resembling
Claire dissembling My wintered axe. start at the bottom
Work your way upwards. like a signature saying I’ve been here,
strolling past, these fumes, on the air
smell like a letter. All thermal , all water Quasars
bleating, blackbird saying, The search light pauses Pluck
The wings out one at a time. Chicago and blackbird, blackbird,
I unaware. of ours, the recombinant bodies of the gods.
i. focused by a lens
starts with the scene starts. December, Smooth
as a mirror Hard in the gut feels like a tumbler.
Claire, inflecting good, by. walking.
Claire. the scene of sparks. among the while, the fission
The house is blue. with two glass eyes among the firmament
no pins to pin you No, thumbtacks to hold you But photons and
all the things that you can’t . Among the sloe gin,
your frayed yellow T-shirt. I returned to you, but you wanting
In a corner of the soiree. a corner of the prairie, more than the sky
This is where the elephant toppled. when what you remember is
Collided, with Often under the webbed foot
Of my imagining, you are the entire throng. Wearing
your face, Dust of a brick, what’s left is What when
the particle accelerator paints its disastered portrait
iv. scatter
many phrases starts with shatter. , crossing
the parking lot, my skin pixilated in the sodium light,
harsh corundum skin a vapor trail edging
the slipstream. Tidy up the floorboards. the wiggling
infrastructure of a signature. says, I’ve been here
before All airs as if a unified field. of
night. of Claire. Collapse, arrangement
of bones where the elephant toppled. spells are cast,
Luster in clusters, stone I toss Chicago,
the old ferry through the house’s eye, through the firmament Light
bulbs wilting, carnations flickering, Like a cyst the crick
dribbles outward toward a shore my lady trickles,
my lady pours Give up give up, my sweet canteen
Been taken to the forest. Honey. Among the wild fission.
Copyright Credit: Jaswinder Bolina, "Operating Dictates for a Particular Accelerator" from Carrier Wave. Copyright © 2006 by Jaswinder Bolina. Reprinted by permission of Center for Literary Publishing.
Source: Carrier Wave (Center for Literary Publishing, 2006)