December

At first we all
went down to the lake
to hold hands,
all the multicolored 
signs said
with love
we will resist,
over my head
I lifted my son
so he could see
what people
look like
when they hear
the song Imagine,
a few weeks later
again people stood
at the water,
this time at night
holding flashlights
to say to fire
you came 
without permission
and took our young
gentle soldiers
for art
so we will show
even with our old
technology
we can see
each other
without you,
others booed 
the mayor which was
my friend said
understandable,
I don't know 
what is anymore,
everyone understands
in a different
contradictory way
the so far purely 
abstract
catastrophe
so many millions
of choices
brought us,
not too far
from the water
I sat on the couch
below the sound 
of blades
drinking amber
numbing fluid
my thoughts
chopping the air
feeling not
what is the word
to be a father
equipped,
mine never told me
where to hide
a brick of gold,
for a long time
I have known
no voices 
will come at last
to tell us how
to stop pretending
we don't know 
if it is not 
safe for some
it is not
for anyone. 

Copyright Credit: Matthew Zapruder, "December" from Father’s Day.  Copyright © 2019 by Matthew Zapruder. Reprinted by permission of Copper Canyon Press, www.coppercanyonpress.org.
Source: Father's Day (2019)