For You
Round and about the edge of things
seasons
books
loves
truths
and other follies
follow my palm
divine
lies and wonder
work and wells dug with the bones of broken vows
nothing is meant to last
move too fast and the fury will come
brutal
slow killing on a floor designed for breaking things
hearts
knees
chains
cryptic like dust sprinkled on the grave of an enemy
write me poems
build me pillars
you will eventually tear them down
weep
whirl
wonder what happened
what happened to that small girl
gentle like rain
clean water from the tropics
none of this acid falling from these harsh skies
come back to me
my Jamaica
simple
like racism is just prejudice in shades
easy
like tripping was only over a rock
dock me two days pay for not showing up
not like this kiss-me-arse reality where they does fire you
for asking permission
to be absent
to be free of these cubic rooms
these desks nailed to white walls of forever
eternity is a long raas time
grime or palace
my toes like to be done
one a week
at least
I like a massage
it frees the shoulders for dancing
the legs for running towards things
my mother has been absent from my phone for months now
no answer
no way to tell is she alive or deathly afraid of living somewhere
anywhere I turn
I am so frightened of becoming my mother
lonely old woman
no bells to speak of
only the memory of what she never did right
tolling
tolling
for her
for me
for her three children
oceans between me
and the boy I first adored/brother
Grandma has been dead tw0 years and some
today the rain came in sheets
gray glimmer glaring angry at New York
this town is not for the lonely
or only for the lonely
sad
sad
the wing of October falls
cold
cold
mutinous my muscles refuse to move
what good is dancing
when the heart lies still
beneath the earth of things suffered
sometimes survival
is not good enough
wear me
thin girl
loud girl
pin me on your chest
display me
clay and dust
I am only human
flailing
failing
falling
fleeing
who am I fooling
if you come for me
I will follow you anywhere
false are these furrows
these furies
these flippant
ferocities
for you
I would fold
freely
feel the fetters float away
for you
I would follow all the follies
for you
I would
I would
Copyright Credit: Staceyann Chin, "For You" from Crossfire: A Litany for Survival. Copyright © 2019 by Staceyann Chin. Reprinted by permission of Haymarket Books.
Source: Crossfire: A Litany for Survival (Haymarket Books, 2019)