Black Princess! Black Princess!

Before we go any further, we’ll need a urine sample.

Glass of water, Madam. You'll be pleased to know

your parents have been fully vetted,

though that father is a cross to bear, isn't he?

Your mother is a breath of fresh air.

Though, shame about her listing her occupation as

'yoga teacher' not just 'teacher'.

We could have made something of that:

'Lecturer, Professor' etc.

You, Madam, went to a good school, didn't you?

Hollywood, I hear.

We're keen to avoid any awkward questions,

should they arise, about how a yogi single mother

could afford to send her daughter to a good school.

But, all verified, she's through!

Now, we must comb through your hair.

Just joking! We've attended training on that issue

but we will have to comb through every partner you've had—

sexual, oral, even one lingering look past platonic,

we'll need to know about it: first name, last name just here.

Don't be coy. If any name has 'slipped your mind',

then please be exact as possible with date, time, venue

and a full physical description; no one too difficult to find.

How many might we be expecting, Madam?

Do you know your blood type? When was your last period?

Smear? Chemical peel? Your doctors will be questioned,

nothing severe, just a gentle checking all is in order,

that your womb is suitably ermine-lined.

Your doctors will have to sign disclosures too

to protect you, themselves, and of course, The Family

—all being well, your family! Isn't that exciting?

A real pay-off some might say. Madam.

Source: My Darling From the Lions (Tin House Books, 2021)