Likeness: A Self-Portrait

By Kimiko Hahn
Like Professor Sara Lewis  I view the meadow as theater
for passion and yearning    courtship duets
      competitions for affection
          cruel deception and gruesome death
Like the Professor     fluent in firefly    I am fluent in
    on-the-fly     and     on-the-sly
        when circumstances are     well     well lit


 
                    *



Like a female firefly       I am remarkably picky 
   when checking out flashy males
because long-lasting pulses
mean a lot   when it comes to    say   nuptial gifts
   —packages of protein injected with sperm—

furthermore   it's crucial to pay attention
   yes I tell my daughters

                pay attention to attention


 
                    *



Unlike male fireflies
      who do not need to burn many extra calories
   to make flashes
         because only a tiny bit of energy needed
I do
   burn a lot of fuel in the service of being flashy:
             shimmying at Danceteria
acting-out at the Nuyorican
 leafletting at Kentile
                  to overthrow The Man


 
                    *



And what can I say?
       like the cannibal   Photuris firefly that
 pounces     bites     then  sucks the blood

of the special other
          for ill-tasting chemicals
which it utilizes for protection
     well, me, too—

       I take her in    to ward her off


 
                    *


 
There is also trickery  in the case  of the Photuris firefly
who at times  sits on a blade of grass, responding
  to male fireflies with deceptive flashes

    mimic  deceive  devour

like legend  like fairy tale
          like office copy-room 


 
                    *


 
Regrettably   I've never sat in my backyard the night before
  heading off to Belize
        unlike Professor Sara Lewis
who  found herself
         —instead of mulling over coral reefs—     
   espying firefly sexual selection and
comparing the winks to Darwin's thesis on
            male displays of antlers and feathers

though it is true  that at the book launch where Harold read Bestial 
   I took note         of his commanding backlist


 
                    *



Lastly   also like fireflies   what I cook up
  can present an unpleasant meal
although mine  does not glow
     although I wish I could produce glowy things
       —sestina, sukiyaki, manifesto—
  However, like firefly glow
I turned on during courtship   Harold said so and

    he   himself     is brilliant
                  especially at nightfall
 

—though not from enzymes in his tail—
     



 
                    * * *


 
Copyright Credit: Kimiko Hahn, "Likeness A Self Portrait" from Foreign Bodies.  Copyright © 2020 by Kimiko Hahn.  Reprinted by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc..
Source: Foreign Bodies (W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2020)