Michael O’Toole

Michael O’Toole hated going to school,

He wanted to stay home and play.

So lied to his dad and said he felt bad

And stayed home from school one day.

The very next day he decided to say

That his stomach felt a bit queasy.

He groaned and he winced ’til his dad was convinced,

And he said to himself, “This is easy!”

At the end of the week, his dad kissed his cheek

And said, “Son, you’ve missed too much school.”

“But still I feel funny, and my nose is all runny,”

Said the mischievous Michael O’Toole.

Each day he’d complain of a new ache or pain,

But his doctor could find nothing wrong.

He said it was best to let Michael rest,

Until he felt healthy and strong.

Michael O’Toole never did get to school,

So he never learned how to write—

Or to read or to spell or do anything well,

Which is sad, for he’s really quite bright.

And now that he’s grown, he sits home alone

’Cause there’s nothing he knows how to do.

Don't be a fool and stay home from school,

Or the same thing could happen to you!

Copyright Credit: Phil Bolsta, “Michael O’Toole” from Kids Pick the Funniest Poems, edited by Bruce Lansky (Minnetonka, Minn.: Meadowbrook Press, 1991). Copyright © 1991 by Phil Bolsta. Reprinted with the permission of the author.

Source: Kids Pick the Funniest Poems (1991)