Gilligan’s Island

The Professor and Ginger are standing in the space in front

of the Skipper’s cabin. The Professor is wearing deck shoes,

brushed denim jeans, and a white shirt open at the throat.

Ginger is wearing spike heels, false eyelashes, and a white

satin kimono. The Professor looks at her with veiled lust

in his eyes. He raises an articulate eyebrow and addresses

her as Cio-Cio-San. Ginger blanches and falls on her knife.

* * *

Meanwhile it is raining in northern California. In a tiny

village on the coast, Rod Taylor and Tippi Hedren are totally

concerned. They realize that something terrible is happening.

Each has been savagely attacked by a wild songbird within

the last twenty-four hours. Outside their window thousands

of birds have gathered in anticipation of the famous school-

yard scene. Tippi Hedren is wearing a colorful lipstick.

* * *

Ginger stares back at the Professor. His sullen good looks

are the perfect foil for her radiant smile. The Skipper and

Gilligan come into sight. The Skipper has been chasing

Gilligan around the lagoon for a long time now. Gilligan

holds onto his hat in the stupid way he has of doing things

like that. The Professor’s lips part in a sneer of perfect

contempt. Ginger bares her teeth, as if in appreciation.

* * *

Jackie Kennedy bares her teeth. Behind and above her, the

muzzle of a high-powered rifle protrudes from a window. A little

man is aiming at Jackie Kennedy’s husband. The man is wearing

bluejeans and a white T-shirt. There isn’t a bird to be seen.

As he squeezes the trigger, the little man mutters between

clenched teeth, “Certs is a candy mint.” The hands of Jackie

Kennedy’s husband jerk automatically toward his head.

* * *

The Professor is noticing Ginger’s breasts. He thinks of

the wife he left at home, who probably thinks he’s dead.

He thinks of his mother, and all of the women he has ever

known. Mr. and Mrs. Howell are asleep in their hut, secure

in their little lives as character actors. Ginger shifts her

weight to the other foot. The intensity of the moment reminds

the Professor of a Japanese city before the end of the war.

* * *

In his mind he goes down each aisle in his government class,

focusing on each face, each body. He is lying on his bed

with his white shirt off and his trousers open. Dorothy

Kirsten’s voice fills the room. He settles on a boy who sits

two desks behind him. He begins to masturbate, his body moving

in time with the sad music. At moments like these he feels

farthest away. As he shoots, his lips part and he bares his teeth.

* * *

The Professor and Ginger are watching each other across the

narrow space. The Skipper and Gilligan have disappeared down

the beach. The Howells are quietly snoring. The Professor

and Ginger are alone. From the woods comes the sound of

strange birds. From the water comes a thick and eerie

tropical silence. The famous conversation scene is about

to start. Clouds appear in the sky, and it begins to snow.

Source: A Fast Life: The Collected Poems of Tim Dlugos (Nightboat Books, 2011)