Gender Bender

Evolution settles for a while on various stable balances.

One is that some of the girls like cute boys and some

like ugly older men and sometimes women. The difference

between them is the ones who like older men were felt up

by their fathers or uncles or older brothers, or if he didn't

touch you, still you lived in his cauldron of curses and

urges which could be just as worse. They grow already old,

angry, and wise, they get rich, get mean, get theirs.

The untouched/uncursed others are happy never needing

to do much, and never do much more than good. They envy

their mean, rich, talented, drunk sisters. Good girls drink milk

and make milk and know they've missed out and know they're

better off. They might dance and design but won't rip out lungs

for a flag. Bad ones write books and slash red paint on canvas;

they've rage to vent, they've fault lines and will rip a toga off

a Caesar and stab a goat for the ether. It's as simple as that.

Either, deep in the dark of your history, someone showed you

that you could be used as a cash machine, as a popcorn popper,

as a rocket launch, as a coin-slot jackpot spunker, or they didn't

and you grew up unused and clueless. Either you got a clue

and spiked lunch or you got zilch but no punch. And you

never knew. It's exactly not anyone's fault. If it happened

and you don't like older men that's just because you like

them so much you won't let yourself have one. If you did

everyone would see. Then they would know what happened

a long time ago, with you and with that original him, whose eyes

you've been avoiding for decades gone forgotten. That's why

you date men smaller than you or not at all. Or maybe you've

turned into a man. It isn't anyone's fault, it is just human

and it is what happens. Or doesn't happen. That's that. Any

questions? If you see a girl dressed to say No one tells me

what to do, you know someone once told her what to do.

Source: Who Said (Copper Canyon Press, 2013)