Rosebud Ben-Oni in Conversation at The Rumpus

At The Rumpus, Rosebud Ben-Oni discusses her new book, turn around, BRXGHT XYXS (Get Fresh Books, 2019)—as well as her forthcoming book, If This Is the Age We End Discovery, "a collection about string theory and quantum physics," with Janet Rodriguez. "Why did you spell turn around, BRXGHT XYXS the way you did?" asks Rodriguez. The response, and more:

Ben-Oni: Well, the title refers to something—it was during a very turbulent time, when I was younger, after my mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. The doctor, at the time told her, “We’ll just watch it. It hasn’t progressed that far.” But my father said, “No, I think she should have the operation and it should be taken out.” So, the surgeons went in and found that the cancer had spread. If they hadn’t done this surgery, my mother would have died.

After surgery, my mother started chemo and radiation therapy. One night I went running to my parents’ room—I knew I wasn’t supposed to go to her because my mother’s incision was not completely healed—and I crawled into bed with her. She was facing me and I was facing her, and there was this storm. I felt something behind me. I put my hand out, and something touched my hand and pushed it away. I remember turning around—I was feeling very brave—and all I saw were these really incandescent bright eyes. I turned back, immediately, to my mother, and she had a look of shock on her face. They stayed with me, and I called them “the bright eyes.” My mother now says maybe we were both dreaming, but I know we couldn’t have had the same dream at the same time.

For the book title, I took out the “I” and put in an “X” for the unknown, and also for the erasure of the first person, because I don’t really know what it is. I took the title from the Bonnie Tyler song, “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Rumpus: The lyrics from “Total Eclipse of the Heart” show up throughout the book.

Ben-Oni: Yes, because that was my mother’s favorite song...

Read on at The Rumpus.