Poet Wrestling with Surface Tension
When the wells dry up, my mother is taken
to search for extraterrestrials in the desert.
The location, like her real age,
is undisclosed. No fake Prada
stores, no high-
altitude balloon
conspiracies & no reception. The call, in a sense,
ends the moment I try to claim the apple
never fell, never fell at all, from either tree. Aba asserts:
breathe & then warns me she doesn’t like the word alien.
I know this well enough, how my mother knows
well enough, that deserts are not prophecy. Or
a graveyard song for an animal
sanctuary, somewhere far-off,
founded on second-guessing.
Like it ever mattered which
side of a fence or war-
head to the last rhino
left, when he’s blessed with two armed
guards to protect him from everything
but thirst. Over static, I hiss it’s too late to save
face. What they must think of you, when your best
technosignatures are smog, sulfur dioxide, stampedes
in open-air stadiums. Is this how you’re found
amid the darkness? Is it enough?
Would you not exist if you lived
unseen? While my mother rises & falls into sky,
I repeat how humans have changed the destiny
of this planet. Aba cries out: breathe.
He mistakes this for atonement
& fires back:
how wrong
the foundations here, like those
in supersymmetry, are stacked.
How you built your wells & havens
so inaccurately that your ultimate
capability is never being proven
wrong. I won’t ask for forgiveness
when Aba searches for his place,
again, among you. Was it enough
to believe the apple
would never rot from a lack
of rigor. When did you stop asking
for the math? & when the rhino turns
into a golden calf,
what will tarnish
& unearth your base
metals? What will you
do when your alloys
sour & gasp?
I hold my breath. I trap
his wrath. The heart continues
to track. Aba falls silent when I switch
off every tap & highway, render complete
darkness. The last of you continue
to gaze up, for no reason
you will recall. You shiver & open
mouths wide, for what was precious
& pure. & I
no longer pretend
that I ever breathed
any part of it,
this future you pooled
together, the way a single drop
of water relies on surface
tension. I won’t ask forgiveness
when giving away exact coordinates
& next destinations. Don’t be afraid.
On the surface, we aren’t unlike one
& the same. It’s just you are the reason
you’re already gone.
& I’m here to stay.
Source: Poetry (December 2019)