Calamity

Your family is coming over for Thanksgiving.

Even worse, it’s snowing.

Headless robots are playing soccer with your soul.

UFOs have been sighted overhead.

A meteor is definitely heading straight for you.

It might miss, but then again.

Tonight a city is being decimated by Godzilla,

or was it a bunch of genetically-engineered dinosaurs?

Either way, I hope you’re lizard-friendly.

Tonight you have to give a speech

and that girl who hated you in third grade

will be in the audience. What have I ever done

to deserve this? the prophet asks, tearing his robes

in the desert. God responds: How long you got?

A plague of egrets, of eaglets, of egress.

A black hole has just opened up and it is

already swallowing someone else’s sun.

Did you see the team play last night? A travesty.

Someone is always preaching about doomsday.

Who are you wearing? Because this night

your life will be required of you. Grab a bag,

a sword, a water bottle. Go out swinging.