Almost Awake: Spring Morning Gratitude
By Li-Young Lee
Open window.
Blue sun.
Green sun.
Last night
light rain fell
off and on. Thunder
rumbling nudged me
how many times almost awake?
Windowsill wet.
Blue and green shadows on the garden wall.
Flowers fallen
into the birdbath. Wings,
sparrows and finches, splashing
in the pool. The bathers’ cries
of pleasure make a sound
like tiny anklets ringing
or little sacks of coins being shook.
Those little pipers know
how to pipe
and never grow hoarse.
But I know in silence
something raucous birds don’t know:
everything in the garden belongs to Death.
Everything is alive and thriving in Death’s garden.
Even the gardener, Life,
is Death in disguise.
In order to learn the secret
words of Life, the little flowers
recite Death’s calculus in school.
It’s Death’s cursive they read and copy.
It takes them years to make the letters of Life
as flawlessly as Death makes the letters.
It takes them years more to make the words of Life
as clearly as Death makes the words.
Love is the tutor this morning
in Death’s garden.
Love is the tutor
every morning in Death’s garden.
The birds at their bath know none of this.
They proclaim things we learned in kindergarten:
All flowers are born betrothed.
All flowers fall in love with butterflies.
Betrothed to whom? They don’t know.
And they don’t know the butterflies
are my elder brothers.
The birds think it makes me jealous or lonely
when the flowers throng the paths
and stretch their necks for a glimpse
of my brothers passing. Look,
shining in the wind,
bearing our ancestors’ eyes on their wings,
there go my brothers now:
Jacob, Jonathan, and Joseph.
That leaves me all by myself
to wait for Hummingbird.
Notes:
This poem is part of the portfolio honoring Li-Young Lee as the recipient of the 2024 Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize, a recognition for outstanding lifetime achievement from the Poetry Foundation. Established in 1986 by Ruth Lilly, the prize is one of the most prestigious awards given to living US poets. Read the rest of the portfolio in the October 2024 issue.
Source: Poetry (October 2024)