Self-Portrait as Out-Fighter
a man I’ve never met tells me to open
like a flower but a flower cut
too soon won’t soften
into bloom it stays
like a fist so like a fist
I leave a mark
and all the heart I have
inside this tidy vessel I’m disruption
the peace the room your shining
story I unsettle I blemish I bloody
the ring with my memory
of you we walk in circles
all these bodies underfoot
my future like it was
yesterday we’ve lived this all before
a past we’re both bound to
in simpler times you’d call me
savage a mistranslation
of survivor
I dodge your grip I told you
didn’t I tell you I can’t forget
to live a feeling
curled inside me like a fist a hit
telegraphed generations back
and just like that
red petals from your lips
like a flower but a flower cut
too soon won’t soften
into bloom it stays
like a fist so like a fist
I leave a mark
and all the heart I have
inside this tidy vessel I’m disruption
the peace the room your shining
story I unsettle I blemish I bloody
the ring with my memory
of you we walk in circles
all these bodies underfoot
my future like it was
yesterday we’ve lived this all before
a past we’re both bound to
in simpler times you’d call me
savage a mistranslation
of survivor
I dodge your grip I told you
didn’t I tell you I can’t forget
to live a feeling
curled inside me like a fist a hit
telegraphed generations back
and just like that
red petals from your lips
Source: Poetry (September 2023)