On PrEP or on Prayer [“spare us your burial rites”]

spare us your burial rites

spare us the first rib
the flood, the resurrection

spare us your dairy & meats
your belief in a life after this one

heaven’s a city
we’ve been priced out of

our mothers fled
for more affordable children
for the price of liver

heaven wants nothing
to do with pleasure
on earth

on this
the occasion of my brother’s wedding
i need something awful
done to my body

heaven’s a boy
who wants me to crawl
through his mother’s midnight-window

heaven’s the condom splitting into light

heaven’s not a place
more a wound i make & pass through

when we’re done
he asks how many men

i’ve fucked this month
& not loved

spare me the quilt & blankets

spare me the look
in his eyes when he takes me
careful as a poison inside him

spare me the lecture
on the survival
of my body
& i will spare you
my body