Aubade Beginning in Handcuffs
After sam sax
Sometimes I pronounce aubade: obeyed
for the way this particular desire stumbles
the tongue. Hunger’s vocabulary is a fickle
thing. How many lovers have said that
they adore me, but meant instead they saw
in me a door? A thing to be entered. Language
shifts an image like the light. To lash can mean
both beat & bind. I’m lashed against the bed
by dawn’s red blaze. The whole room welted
tidy by the sky between the blinds. To cuff
can also mean to hold or harm, each word
doubled—body & a body’s shadow. I want
& all at once I flicker beneath you. I beg you
to bruise me & so exchange faggot for fruit.
O, how gentle lust alters a body, conjugates
prey into prayer. The history of handcuffs
is old as myth if memory serves. The legend
goes, Greek hero invented them to steal
prophecy from the mouth of a shapeshifter
god & the story gathered blood from there.
The root of the word religion is a Latin verb
meaning to bind. As in, the worshipper is bound
to their god. Two hands paired in steel or prayer.
When I say obey, I mean we have chosen
the softer side of every verb, dulled the sharp
edge of a memory, sea glass against the tongue.
For the first time, when the handcuffs’ steel
lips unkiss my wrists as morning stains every
surface a fading bruise, I am already free
as the first breath after confession.
Source: Poetry (October 2019)