Pinocchia takes on the role of the magician’s assistant
When the mirror swings open, it calls me obscenely
shapely. A ruby wing slaps the glass. Soft smear. Since,
like the drowning trick in reverse, I learned to float
outside myself from a certain, mostly bearable height,
I watch terror push its anthem into the skin under
my dress, and the noise I obscure obscures my body
still slimming to a petal. After his performance,
which is a hand tucking my performance into the pink
void between the heart’s line and the fate’s, I flower
on command, a damp palm forcing a ghost to act out
the life my habit takes. Like cathedrals too haunted
and lovely to uplift or abandon, my fluted, parted legs
offend and seem to be carved past clear expectations
of naturality. A bloody wing striking the mirror’s roof
reflecting the tops of your heads, lofted with wonder.
Like hatred, the secret is only as hidden as the stage
disguising it—my hand bewitches since my magician
had a dream in which I tricked him into fucking me
then holstered the theater’s box with blood’s jewelry
all exposed. Captivity stabbed through with singing,
the hollow weeping, I watch his hands as you watch
my words for chasming midnight and wild morning
needling in. When he twists my arm, I can’t forgive
the direction in which I thrust the other. This lyric
admits one appetite for my transformation. The birds
survive it, bright monsters in the fourth wall’s forest.
But I am not a trapdoor shut, not white globes alight
in little cages screwed to the balcony. I was both wings
watching you suck that slick, sugared slice of laughter
when my violation hit the floor, inspiring a vague storm
of applause. Thunder split something like rain over
this sorry house. Tenants in the first row went home
when they left, but red and wet from heel to crown.
Source: Poetry (October 2019)