in the dark (wish)

mobiles’ torches, little red flying foxes’ eyeshine     “I’ve

finished digging myself out of that hole”    bass-pulse      we waited

at the dance floor’s outpost for a spell      hours

flushed as though they’d inspired poppers      “for

the love of God,” I laughed with Michael, “this

is Newish Me—no dope, in high spirits”      “I’ve

always got my eye on you”      noses rubbed, he made

for the door     I bought myself

a second & final pint     “hello” “uh-huh” “so

long” to the black-bearded, tattooed bear       suddenly I was sick

to death of disco      strobes unloosed the mirror ball’s I

good sense vanished like a wish

-ing well’s ting     carpet gargled the Nikes I’d

shined for Michele’s wedding      i stayed

—i tried to stay—one jump ahead of him      dead asleep,

my hairy legs      “gone tomorrow, here today,”

swishing his hoodie’s sleeves      i

was belted toward a neon arrow, stood in a Never Never

-ish torrent     in windows’ reflections, sallowish skin      thought,

a blepharospastic eye, contracted     “uh-uh—this

-away”     aphonic, i melted among bodies unrivaled as day

-flies     for the love of short-sightedness would

I give my eye teeth?      at teenagehood’s end

I also walked the plank     a blind date     twenty-two years i

frothed at the mouth, crossing more states than the Missouri     never

miscalculate the fury of cold intuition     thought

-clouds glimmered     blue skies, gold sun     tonight

I danced with Prudence     the one who’s all eyes could

do ...     i spied my voice, materialized ever

-y which way     five men nearly broke me like a wishbone     be

-ams issued from my thighs     “uh, fellers? don’t think this

guy’s—”     faraway, so close!

latch’s snick     mobiles’ torches, crocodilian eyeshine     i came to

myself on the cubicle’s mattress     disco doused me,

a little yellowish light     i spelled out “do it” “just”

hotel eiderdown swaddled me     should I try

to unwish this history, Ruth—“visualize neutrality”?     to

-night’s wings of desire swish as far as the eye can see