Sea Sickness

What’s left of my battles and my turmoil

is in my seaside cabin: this roiling air.

And yet it’s what’s outside that makes me shiver.

Not the ocean coldness — something heavier.

Hot black tea might help — it revives.

Two kinds of glass are at hand for my thirst:

that windowpane, this tumbler for my tea.

If  I stare through the faceted clear sides

of   the second at the first,

I’ll see the darkness squinting back at me.

I can’t deny that even though my eye — 

clairvoyant as a crystal ball — clinks like it can see

something, I don’t know what comes next    ...    

(Zek — zek — whetstones on knives    ...    

a nickering    ...    Here comes a horse, it whinnies

and the rider — Stick him!, thieves shout

as they leap down from a tree and stab,

then they lead the horse away

down the long snowbound shore.)

Windswept snow and sand are sorrel: tea leaves

scalded by sunset. Sea foam rushes up these shores

to decorate some fir trees but not others.

And on the withers of a wave

Haie! Here they both are!

Snow explodes like sugar

that someone is stabbing with a spoon

in a glass of chai.

And the tea-air sweetens, the snow-sand dissolves,

the light of  it switched off, spent, an omen:

now look — from deep within the firmament

Time has bobbed up like the moon:

I clink the teaspoon in the glass — what’s that about?

And even though each hourly radius

of   the lemon slice is fixed in the white rind,

between these translucencies pressed pulp spills out.

Like lime or lemon, the taste of  Time is sour — 

and yet it has no odor, color, hour.

My clinking teaspoon’s yet another of

my self-delusions, since it’s only the glass

that answers it, and Time

says nothing in reply — like all the other governings

that invite us to believe

they have their power over us.

In every object, quick or dead, there’s Time,

yet Time itself  is unaware of   Time — 

the way a gull (such a polyglot

of  fish-tongues), soaring in the dark,

unknowingly glows at ten to two,

her wings the phosphorescent hands of a clock.

No people in this region. But — do people

exist at all? And the so-called base and superstructure

get, at best, a grade of  C (in Russian, “three,”

troika — a kind of carriage — in which the Uriah Heeps

are riding toward our “bright new future”    ...    ).

Oh, plenty of   hearty pink-faced people (gray-faced, too)

here    ...    but are they that real? There’s only sea and tides

and more of the same. Sea air throws bombast

at my cabin and makes it talk.

My window’s blinded by a heavy foamy sea-pulp blast.

At the bottom of my tea glass — sweetest sweet.

But sugar specks are stuck to the sides,

scarcely rinsed by waves of tea,

whether attacked or not by my spoon.

Now come the many stars that the sky is, or was — 

but under such a sky, who feels he needs

So Time is always empty, a negative,

and doesn’t bother us

I could have sparkled like a Cicero!

But even out here all words are turned into a game

of  ping-pong, which makes my silenced brain

come bubbling out my throat — it’s just one more white foam    ...    

And only an insatiable gull’s scream of dissent

marks this deaf   land not as the island of a castaway