Where wor{l}d & the tangible object of that wor{l}d collide. My brain thinks traces & again, Singh’s words at the back of my throat, The unconscious is the most evasive archive of all, yet is pulsing right there inside you....
I think about division. How we splice & splice & splice, mentally & anatomically. A cell becomes cells becomes exponential cells. A gorging. Always, our becoming; our something tangled in multiplicity. How the body yearns to rewild from behind muscle...
A Mass is something you say on Good Friday, after we walk the Stations for the last time. The radiologist will tell me the same thing or not: “Appears to be a carcinoma.”
The children in the life: Another telephone call. Another man gone. How many pages are left in my diary? Do I have enough pencils? Enough ink? I count on my fingers and toes the past kisses, the incubating years, the months ahead.
Crip (noun): slang for a disabled person/the whole of the disabled community/ a school of thought Example: “I’m on crip time” Meaning: Time bends differently when the universe that is my body dictates it
Of birds then. The diagram is a symbol that brings nets down, and what gets trapped in nets, as it is expelled from our hands, and rid by water, is a thing, that reflects, traces, and symbolizes.
I crossed the border into the Republic of Motherhood and found it a queendom, a wild queendom. I handed over my clothes and took its uniform, its dressing gown and undergarments, a cardigan soft as a creature, smelling of birth and milk, and I lay...